Scanxiety: Storms Literally & Figuratively

I have to say it feels pretty good that when I don’t write for a few days people actually start to text me and ask “what’s going on, are you OK?” Well this update is a dump and it’s a lot. I want to get the next few weeks down in writing so my people know where I'll be, what I'm walking into, and where my head is. I'll likely add more as the week unfolds.

My last update was all about my Laz-E-Boy. Damn I wish I could say the last few days have been lazy and stress free. No, honestly, I’m a mess. I feel mentally taxed and am just trying to get through one day at a time.

Since the ER trip last Tuesday I've been on a heavy antibiotic and my stomach has been a wreck because of it. It felt like one long string of bad side-effect days, but honestly most of it I attribute to the antibiotic, not the chemo this time. This has really messed up my data and analytics process lol. How am I supposed to anticipate and track when I have these random weird fevers and trips to emergency rooms with more meds thrown my way? Well, I’ve noted it all and I’ll attempt to predict the two weeks visually later.

Back to the mental stress and emotion swirling in my immediate circle since the weekend. It kept me from wanting to write. Today I'm trying to focus on what's in front of me instead of what's behind me, and to just recognize that everyone around me is carrying a lot right now too. We have been all walking on eggshells, short fused, and just doing our best to get through life.

Let’s talk about Saturday - started out great and peaceful with a visit to a beautiful little flower garden (Practically Magic in Crown Point) and breakfast with Leslie. Then, around 3:45, I get this cryptic text from Bobby’s phone, see photo for details. Somehow on the way to his baseball tournament his iPhone detected a crash and sent me and his brother Hal 🆘 alerts as we are his emergency contacts. I told Hal I’d get to the bottom of it as I saw the location was close to the ballpark as surely I could reach someone to give me the 411 on where he was and that he was ok. Sadly I could not get a hold of Bobby, or really anyone, for quite some time and in that window I even called the Palos police to ask whether there had in fact been a crash at the location in the alert. Thankfully, the dispatcher was super helpful, said nothing was reported and that he would send a patrol out to investigate the area and try to locate him. Just as I was on the edge of hyperventilating, running through every worst case scenario, one of the baseball parents said he had spotted Bobby on the field throwing batting practice before their scheduled game. Bobby had no idea any of this was happening as he was focused on the pregame warmup with the players. Turns out his phone had somehow flown off his truck in transit, which was enough for Apple to decide it was a crash and set the whole chain of events in motion. Good times.

Tornadoes and our Community

As most have heard there was a devastating series of tornadoes that tore through our area. My heart breaks for all impacted. We were lucky but while we were sheltering in the basement, nearby communities and schools were completely devastated. Yesterday while investigating a smell in our home and main living area, we found a massive water problem in the basement and still haven't found the source. With my compromised immunity, I'm nervous about mold, so we had the whole house treated with an antimicrobial spray and vent clean-out. But we now need to cut in to our wall to try to figure out where this is coming from. A huge thank you to one of our amazing entrepreneurial baseball dads, Anthony Eriks who owns several companies including Americlean and he immediately sent his guys to help me all day yesterday.

Tomorrow: Round FOUR begins

It is Tuesday and I'm moving into Round 4 with some trepidation tomorrow. I don't have the same level of fight I had going into Round 3, just because the last two weeks were so physically and mentally taxing. My daughter Gina is back home from Austin and gave me a pep talk a few minutes ago to get my mind right, so I'm leaning on that.

Here's the plan:

Wednesday, June 17 - 6-7 hours of chemo at Infusion center at Northwest Cancer Centers, then sent home with the 46-hour pump.

Thursday, June 18 - Home chemo, nothing colder than room temp to be touched our consumed.

Friday, June 19: Back to NCC for labs, Dr. Sidani appointment, pump removal, another round of fluids.

Bonus for Friday: same building, right after fluids, oncology rehabilitation consultation to plan, schedule physical therapy on my deteriorating and deconditioned physical body. I am at the lowest weight I can ever remember being at in my entire life and I look at my arms and legs and just cry wondering how I'm going to get my strength back. It looks like my muscles have literally been eating themselves. I feel weak and tired. I won't be doing any physical therapy that day, but hopefully in that 45-minute Friday consult I'll learn what I should and shouldn't be doing from here on out.

Scanxiety is REAL

This is the big one.

Tuesday, June 23 Official scans at University of Chicago Medicine, Mitchell Hospital, now that Round 4 is in the books. CTs, MRIs, and possibly a PET scan.

Wednesday, June 24: Regularly scheduled fluids at the infusion center close to home.

Friday, June 26: Labs and a visit with Dr. Sidani at Northwest Cancer Centers.

Monday, June 29: University of Chicago Medicine with Dr. Shergill.

The June 29 visit is the one. Assuming all of my care team have the scan results early next week, they'll consult before meeting with me. That's when I expect to learn how the first four rounds have actually impacted the disease. I'm particularly anxious to see whether the liver is healing. If I'm judging by pain alone, things have to be getting better. I've cut my pain medicine significantly. I still have some issues, but it feels more like discomfort now than real pain. I'm going to hold onto that going into tomorrow.

A few quick thank yous:

Thank you Crystal Klomp for the amazing new chemo bag full of supplies. It will be put to good use tomorrow.

Thank you Lisa Ellis for the visit today with coffee ☕️, homemade strawberry 🍓 jam and chocolate chip cookies 🍪.

More to come. Thank you for staying close.