Losing my independence, struggling to eat, and then my global family showed up

Today I had a great deal of stress around managing the logistics of getting to all of these appointments and it really hit me hard that I have lost my independence. Not being able to drive due to pain medication and fatigue in over 47 days has given me the feeling of being trapped and completely reliant on others and this is very difficult for me. It's so much of an issue that I am looking to get in to therapy about this and other factors that are causing me undue stress.

I'm also having a fairly hard time getting food in to sustain a weight that is keeping my energy up. With so many competing theories on what I should be eating and then overlaying my stomach sensitivity it is the area I feel most unsuccessful in on this journey thus far. So I would be lying if I said today was a great day.

I'm having some anxiety with maybe some pressure against my diaphragm causing me to take some uncomfortable shallow breaths. The stress and worry of not working, not being able to contribute to our business, not really being clear minded about much except learning and understanding how to manage cancer, treatments, chemo side effects, nailing the timing game of all of it is, in a word, stressful. I need to be extremely protective of what other stressors I allow in my life and stay clear on my boundaries to remove those things stealing my joy and positivity. I'm focusing on what I'm doing well right now and taking the wins everywhere I can get them.

Speaking of positivity and joy, it's amazing to see so many people have somehow gotten their hands on my "we fight together" Team GoGo bracelets. If I were working this week I would have been with my colleagues at a worldwide convention for one of our key clients. Obviously I can't be there but I received this photo today of at least NINE of them who have thoughtfully been wearing the bracelet daily, not just my Google family but this includes my global clients from all over the world showing their support. Can you imagine how this makes me feel inside? I have to fight, I have no choice. I'm not done here on this earth. 🌍

Love you all ❤️🙏🥊